Today’s to-do list had many important tasks on it. Had I followed the list, I would have drastically improved my financial situation, my health, my teeth, my character, my relationships with fellow humans, my karma and, basically, my entire life. Even my happy dog would have been happier.
Instead I was a lazy slacker. I threw the list away and decided to visit a “record” store, where I bought a CD containing two Dead Kennedys albums – “Plastic Surgery Disasters” and “In God We Trust, Inc.”
I already had a few low-quality, illegally downloaded DK songs in my music collection, but I haven’t owned a complete album since the early 1990s when a cassette tape unraveled in my car and was destroyed.
Listening to these albums is like getting reacquainted with an old friend. The music is downright spectacular.
One of my favorites is “Bleed for Me,” a song that is as politically relevant today as when it was written.
“You’ve been hanging ‘round
With an enemy of the state
Come with me to the building
That no-one stops to watch”
“We’ll strap you to a pipe
Electrodes on your balls
Face down in a pool of piss.”
Remember: America needs fuel. In order to get it, it needs puppets. Sound familiar?
Perhaps I was subliminally inspired to buy this album after I heard a reporter this morning on CNN ask a senator whether water boarding was a form of torture. That was the dumbest question I’ve ever heard.
Another great song is “We’ve Got a Bigger Problem Now.” It has a swagy wagy, cool groovin, night club-style intro:
“Last call for alcohol.
Last call for your freedom of speech.
Drink up. Happy hour is now enforced by law.
Don’t forget our house special, it’s called a Trickie Dickie Screwdriver.
It’s got one part Jack Daniels, two parts purple Kool-Aid, and a jigger of formaldehyde from the jar with Hitler’s brain in it we got in the back storeroom.
Happy trails to you. Happy trails to you.”
Both of these are familiar favorites, but there are some other brilliant songs that I either forgot about or had never heard, including “Forest Fire” and “Moon Over Marin.”
Tomorrow I plan to play “Halloween” several times. It’s about how people plan all year to dress up for Halloween, how much they enjoy it, and how afterward they start planning for next year.
“But what’s in between
Where are your ideas?
You sit around and dream
For next Halloween”
“Why not everyday?
Are you so afraid
What will people say?”
I suppose dressing up as a clown might not be conducive to business, but Jello Biafra makes a good point – if you enjoy dressing up a certain way, why limit doing so to one day a year?