New Year’s Resolutions, 2008

In my head I have a long list of personal and professional goals that are updated and revised throughout the year. For New Year’s resolutions, I cull that list down to just the fun stuff. As you can see, many of them are bicycle related. (The day I take up basket weaving, they’ll be basket related.) Here they are in no particular order:

• Complete the Tour of the Unknown Coast in less than 8 hours. This is a tall order, being that last year it took me 11 hours.

• Go camping.

• Ride at least three century rides (100 miles in one day) and compete in as many bike races/time trials as possible.

• Build a birdhouse.

• Read up on at least one or two belief systems or philosophies that don’t make any sense to me. (That includes nearly all of them.)

• Complete a 10- or 11-mile time trial (formal or informal) with an average speed of at least 23 mph.

• Gamble more often. Seriously. I live near two big casinos and I enjoy gambling, but I rarely go.

• Convert my old Panasonic into one of those hipster-doofus fixed gear bikes, just for the hell of it.

• Travel more often to see family and friends.

• Catch a fish, or at least a clam or crab.

• Spend less time listening to those fucking idiots on cable news and spend more time reading interesting articles and columns written by people who have brains.

• Enjoy a wide variety of cocktails, including the kind that are served with tiny umbrellas.

• Write a simple song, play it on my trombone and record it. After I listen to it, I reserve the right to delete it.

• Scrounge a couple bikes, fix them up and donate them to a good cause. HumWORKS comes to mind. The agency helps women get off drugs. They’re given bikes to help them get to work. Sounds cool to me.

• Buy some crap on eBay.

• Sell some crap on eBay.

• Complete at least one construction project that makes people say “That’s nice. I didn’t know you could do that,” with me responding “neither did I.”

• Watch as much of the Summer Olympics as possible.

• Cook a mind-blowing, decadent meat dish that’s beyond anything I’ve ever made before and rivals the best meal you’ve ever had. Then, make something equally good that’s vegetarian.

• Attend some live concerts. Listen to more music, be it recorded, on the radio or live. Appreciate the full range of musical genres, from classical to punk.

• Ride my bike long distances to nowhere in particular and enjoy happy thoughts as much as possible regardless of the worldwide ecological meltdown and collapse of our global empire!

• Wear more wool when it’s cool.