Holiday hiatus (Ho! Ho! Ho!)

Holiday hiatus

My weekly bicycle wrap is on holiday hiatus for several reasons and won’t return until Jan. 5, 2007.

I’m on some super-crazy early deadlines. Typically I work and play during the week, both of which give me some cycling opportunities. Then, when the weekend comes, I get into serious deadline mode. I crank out the paper and, if all goes as planned, the pages are uploaded to the printer at about 2 a.m. Monday and the paper goes to press that morning around 9 a.m.

Because of the holidays, my deadline is 5 p.m. Friday (Dec. 22 & Dec. 29). That means last week I put out a paper as usual early Monday, and as soon as it hit the streets Tuesday, I went right back into deadline mode.

This limited my bicycle riding. I pedaled into town, checked the mail, checked the office, got coffee and came home and sat behind the computer – for hours upon hours upon hours. Then I got a nasty case of the Humboldt crud, which resulted in coughing, fever and a general feeling of crappiness.

I got all my pages uploaded to the printer and a backup CD burned last Friday with 10 minutes to spare before the deadline. Despite all my deficiences, that made me feel like a pro.

When it comes to bicycling, I put in about 25 miles last week, including some interesting “fever” rides.

The Hiller Road overpass felt like climbing Mt. Everest. At one point I fantasized about falling over and curling up in the pine needles covering the bike lanes near the McKinleyville Shopping Center, but worried that if I did so I might get run over by the Redwood Transit Authority. (I wasn’t concerned about the street sweeper, being that it only comes four times a year.)

I was in no condition to ride a bike.

After that I started using the car. Oh, the luxury! It was cold and rainy outside, but I was warm inside my car. So I reverted to my old ways and guzzled lots of gas. The best parts of an automobile are the heater and radio. Sweet!

So I nursed my illness and kept warm. At first I considered the Christmas chocolates and crab enchiladas as medicinal. Now I fear they’re making me fat and lazy (make that fatter and lazier.)

Tomorrow I plan to get back on the bike. In the coming days and weeks I will need to drastically increase my mileage to make up for the past week. Seven days between bike rides is the most I’ve gone since July. Pure slovenliness. Sinful.

I think I’ll take a cue from the albino monk in “The Da Vinci Code” and engage in some self-flagelation. But I’ll skip the Mother Theresa-style mortification of the flesh and opt for my own form of punishment – I will seek out steep hills, and I will climb them on my bike.

So if you live within the vicinity of the Hewitt Ranch subdivision, look out. I may be pedalling through your neighborhood in the next couple weeks.