The Basket

Today I did something so profoundly significant that it’s bound to change my life’s trajectory.



I purchased a basket for my English 3-speed. In time, people will reflect back on this moment and say “Jack was a lost soul wandering in the wilderness. But ever since he bought that bicycle basket, he’s fully self realized and answers all of our spiritual queries without exception. He’s got everything figured out.”



Having a basket on my bike is a liberating experience. I no longer hassle with backpacks and little bags. I just dump my stuff in the basket and enjoy easy access as needed. Well, at least when I’m riding my 3-speed.

The entire basket is easily removed for shopping. I imagine that when I go to the McKinleyville Safeway I will be able to impress all the single women with my new basket.

As I’m hovering around the produce section near the cabasas, I’ll glance over at a pretty woman and say something like “Those are some nice looking melons.”

She’ll retort “I like your basket. It’s so big.”

And I’ll say “Would you like to hold it?”